Blog
Notes from the chair.
Honest, plain-language writing about sex therapy, mental health, and the practice of being a person in relationships.
Podcast feature: a conversation about relationships
I recently sat down with the team to talk about what actually keeps long-term relationships alive — beyond the cliches. Here's the full episode.
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Therapeutic rapport: why finding the right fit matters more than the technique
The single biggest predictor of good outcomes in therapy isn't the modality — it's the relationship. Here's what to look for, and how to know.
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How masturbation and pornography might be affecting your sexual performance and connection
Solo sex is normal. So is porn. But the way you do them quietly trains your body and brain — and sometimes that training shows up in partnered sex.
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Help, my partner and I have mismatched sex drives: what now?
Desire discrepancy is the most common issue couples bring to sex therapy. It almost never means the relationship is doomed.
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Overcoming performance anxiety in the bedroom: a practical guide
Performance anxiety is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The way out is not 'try harder' — it's understanding the loop and stepping out of it.
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The emotional side of intimacy: why do I feel disconnected during sex?
Bodies can be doing all the right things while emotions are somewhere else entirely. Here's why — and what to do about it.
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How to talk to your partner about your sexual needs (without starting a fight)
Most people have never been taught how to have these conversations. Here are some scripts, principles, and timing that actually work.
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Am I normal? Breaking down 5 common myths about sex and desire
'Am I normal?' is the foundational question of almost all sex therapy enquiries. Short answer: probably yes. Long answer below.
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Online vs in-person therapy: which one is actually right for you?
Telehealth has changed therapy for good — but it isn't automatically better or worse than meeting in a room. Here's how to think about the choice.
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Creativity as a path to mental health recovery and sexual exploration
Making things — writing, drawing, moving, building — uses the same parts of us that desire, intimacy, and recovery rely on. The overlap matters more than we realise.
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Evolutionary perspectives on sexuality: rethinking what 'dysfunction' really means
A lot of what we label sexual dysfunction makes more sense when we look at the body and brain as ancient systems running in a very modern world.
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